Change the dream

I wanted very much to blog yesterday, but was a tad too lazy to open up my laptop to do so. Once again, despite the convenience that technology has provided us, nothing gets done when the individual is too lazy.

So today it would be a two in one post.

Thursday

The night before I was unlucky to get a 1.5cm fish bone stuck in my throat. It was a long, but thin bone so that explains why I managed to survive the ordeal. The funny thing was I managed to survive wednesday night. My supper habit remain unchanged that night.

Well to cut the long story short, I coughed the fish bone at around 1815 hrs the next day while teaching Huilan how to ride the bicycle at east coast park. Well, its been a long time since I’ve had something like that happen to me.

Today

Well, today was a nice day out with BX and Euodia. BX wanted to surprise Euo and I was the surprise. I reached the MRT promptly at 1 and received a msg from BX that he would be late. I received a copy of TODAY and started to read. Better to appear reading than look stood up. Five minutes later I happened to glance to my left hand side and saw Euo. OOPS.. but she did not see me. Apparently, she was too engrossed in her book called Sophie’s World.

We went to this nice little japanese restaurant at Cuppage Terrace near Centrepoint. The food and ambience was good and we stayed till we were chased out when they closed for lunch. I would definitely return for more

I just learnt that my trip to China may be extended by a day or two as we intend to tour Beijing. The initial plan was to bypass the capital (which means giving Great Wall, Summer Palace and Tiananmen Square a miss). Well, glad that my parents sort of reconsidered. This may mean 15-16 days in China which means that I may need a Visa. Oh goodness.

Uraina is coming back to Singapore tomorrow. haha I am certainly looking forward to disturb the daylights out of her when she gets back.

Well, still a few more weeks to China. Oh dear, summer is passing by too quickly!

When everything doesn’t seem to go right
Perhaps the problem lies with luck
Perhaps the people
Perhaps the opportunities
Perhaps the circumstance
Or
Perhaps one should change the dream

Sunday

Confession: I failed to wake up in time for both the first and second service of church. Shoot me! No excuses.

One thing I enjoy about holidays is the opportunity to indulge in long thoughts about life. Life can be vaguely segemented into relationships, studies, ambition etc. I feel that I am beginning to become anxious over my future career, which I suppose would begin in a matter of 3 years… HoHo

It seems like yesterday when I stepped into SMU. In about 2 months time, I would begin my second year. Goodness. Time flies without regard of the amount of fun you are having, even it is none.

I am glad I changed my blog and the long absence from blogosphere has permitted this privacy of writing whatever I wish without fearing judgement from too many friends. But at the same time, permits a means for me to communicate thoughts, well wishes, plans and feelings to a small group of people around me.

Venting of frustration included

Perhaps, daily long-winded posts generated during the summers would make up for the short and often half-hearted entries produced during the school term.

Today was, I admit a day when I can equate myself to my hamster. The only time I was thinking was when I was reading a book called “Following Christ”. The rest of the day was spent in front of the TV watching “It started with a kiss.” I know so slow right. Nice show.

Confession: I found the male lead ooo-too-cute.

After some deep thought and consideration, I decided I am going to start studying accountancy. Like really studying. I know too little and lack the confidence to even do up a balance sheet. I have to put myself on the track of rote learning and get all the basics into my head by the end of summer.

I think I am consoling myself from not being able to land a job and earn some money. I will be quite broke but perhaps mentally satisfied and spiritually fulfilled?

Who am I trying to kid??

Oh well, I am just sour about the fact that my holiday vacation had to be slapped right in the middle of june. Which makes getting a job quite difficult. Perhaps I would be blessed with some short-term assignments! If not, I have a whole lot of stuff to do.

Typed with a mac. Speed improved. To Steve Jobs: you have another satisfied customer.

Just another day…

I have been busy all week, but when someone asks me what I have been doing, I can’t seem to give a concrete answer to that. Well, I have given it some great thought (its summer, I have time) and come to the conclusion that my time has been spent on small, yet fulfilling activities.

Monday- Training. 

We had diving training. The sole of one of my soccer boot came out and the coach lent me her boots! Training ended with everyone soaked in mud. Yimin had quite a big wound at her elbow, which, in my moments of subconsciousness touched it while telling her an exciting story. Sorry dear girl…

Tuesday- Volunteer work at Mount Alvernia Hospice.

Uraina and I began our first day. We had alot of fun. There was nothing much to do, but children are sure tiring. I was given a rather difficult kid to deal with. Nonetheless, I welcome challenges and I enjoyed observing the behavior of children.

Wednesday- Supposedly training.

Decided to skip training because I had rashes from the diving training on the field. I felt quite bad, but the rashes were really itchy. Well glad that it has gone down. I had good time to enjoy my book. Its a book on economic hitman (EHM, can’t believe they even have an acronym for this), jackals. The author of the book was an economic hitman from the US, sent to “plunder” and “rape” the developing and third world countries from their riches and resources. The book talked about the different regions and it seems like there were alot of involvement by the CIA. According to the book, coups were staged against presidents who did not favor policies which benefitted the US. Don’t know how true. Once again, there’s no black and white, but grey for the human race to argue around. 

Thursday- Movie

Went to catch Angels and Demons. It was a nice movie. I am sure individuals would enjoy the movie, if like me, due to poor memory or for whatever reason, forgot the content of the book. Reviews did mention that religious sensitive content were removed. In fact I read today in LIFE, that an actor in the movie said that the script was better than the book and that Dan Brown was a lousy writer. Hmmm. I think how he utilized facts and twisted them is amazing. Its a good book if read purely for the purpose of entertainment, not for knowledge enrichment. 

Next, we went shopping. We had Carl’s Junior for lunch and KFC for dinner. All fast food. 

Friday- Outings.

I spend my morning trying to teach Huilan how to cycle. Unfortunately, time did not permit her mastering it and cycling out to bedok jetty as I had envision the day before. Oh well, I hope she master it soon and then we can go cycling at east coast soon. She did enjoy the swing at my house. A case of broken childhood I suspect. -Just kidding-

After that I went to buy a cake for one of my OCIP mates. We went to the box at SMU. I had no idea what “The Box” was initially. KP didn’t seemed surprised but I am sure he was bursting with happiness on the inside. RIGHT right RIGHT?? 

Next, we head down to timbre. And that was when I discovered where the Timbre near SMU was. It was really a day of enlightenment for me. I saw the light. The trail that led to T.I.M.B.R.E. We had a great time. It was a farewell for the 4 people who are going to Scandinavia. Correct me if I got the spelling wrong. Well only 2 turned up, Penny and Kheng Wee. I think what made my day was the discovery of the location of Timbre. Ok Lame.

Finally Today… Firstly, went down to church to print the name tags for the church camp (which I am not attending). Waited in the office for about an hour for my sister who was having a meeting. We headed to parkway after that. After 15 minutes of walking around, I received a call from my dear WANG ZHENGHUI. The dear girl is back from canada and is heading to cambodia like this saturday. She wanted to go jogging with me! 

We went east coast and then jogged to TJC. It was a great catch up session and hopefully there would be more to come! 

One of the major topics we talked about was “What is wrong with singaporean guys??” haha. I have to admit, I have no idea. Honestly, I rather stay single than marry someone who is too far off expectations.

Words of a single man, “I earn $1, I spend $1.” I think its applicable to single women in this egalitarian society of today.

This entire post was typed with a mac. WHICH IS SUPER DUPER SLOW. zzz… Even my sister had resorted to using her old laptop and I took the liberty of using it. The only reason why I am using it, is because I like the keyboard.

Do I look like the type of stupid, bitchy girls you use to date?? I don’t think so, because i ain’t that dumb to date you, nor believe the things that you say. Nonetheless I welcome all sort of drama in my life, its perhaps my only prevailing source of entertainment amidst the summer.

Birthday

I had a smashing time at Pauljean’s 21st birthday party. It was held at One degree 15, Sentosa Cove, a definite playground for the wealthy. A lovely place, nothing like you have ever seen in other parts of Singapore. To quote Val “Its like I am overseas!”

The nice pretty lobby overlooking Sentosa Cove

Credits to Brandon Wong and his brand new Sony Alpha DSLR! Lovely picture.

The food was GOOOOOD! Buffet-style. We certainly had our fill.

Balloon filled ballroom. Baby pink! PJ’s favourite colour

Her Birthday Cake, sliced up.

With the birthday girl! She looked like a princess! PRETTY!

Not to forget there was dancing after that.

And of course her birthday present.

The yachts. Lovely. Quick, someone throw a party on a yacht and don’t forget to throw me an invite.

Food, company, ambience, celebration. I certainly enjoyed myself. And of course, a happy 21st birthday to Pauljean.

Perhaps I got a small peek at the life money can buy.

A friend once gave me this analogy :” Ask yourself, do you want to drive a lambo or a honda?”

Hmmm… right now I do not have a driver’s license which reflects my lack of direction in life. Lambo or Honda?

 

Can I say none?

When Disappointment sets in

Perhaps I think  too much for my own good. Perhaps, I have too carefully prevented myself from falling into the traps of disappointment by not letting it get me down. But the questions is- is it the right way to about it.

Goodness. I have not been writing faithfully, contrary to my expressed determination in my first post. Tsk tsk.

In university, there’s a whole lot, truckload equivalent of smarter people. But this is not a sufficient consolation for my lack of A’s and a very disappointing B- this semester. Out of 4 subjects I managed to get only an A-. 1 A- and I have friends complaining that they have 1 B.

When trying your best isn’t enough.

Then what else am I expected to do…

Sometimes I  like to blame my underperformance for the wrong choice in course. But what else can I do?

Sometimes I blame my inferior genes. HOHO.. I can spell out the entire chain of events that would have changed my life without even thinking.

Blame gives you no gain. Its just an illusion you provide yourself with. But deep down  inside,  you  know it gives you nothing more than lousy consolation.

Then again, the most important question should not be how to go round disappointment but rather what can you conclusion dawns upon you from the disppointment. Well, I think I am going to work doubly hard and doubly smart.

The uphill battle was never against the potential Summa Cum Laude Holders etc etc. It was against myself. A simple concept, yet one which I could have never grasp. Fighting hard to get even better achievements and freeing myself from the chains of the older achievements  which clouds my mind.

On a lighter note, I do look  forward for the joyful summer days to come. With Uraina ending her exams, and I can finally chill out with her.

Once again, an apology to Kevin Ang, who I forgot to meet. Too many things were on my mind and I think I need to find my organizer.  Thank you for your understanding but this does not  discount my utmost guilt I feel.