You’re an unsung song, a nag in my mind.

So when you turn to hide your eyes
Because the movie, it made you cry
That’s when I love you
I love you a little more each time

And when you can’t quite match your clothes
Or when you laugh at your own jokes
That’s when I love you
I love you more than you know    -That’s when I love you, Aslyn

Was slightly disappointed with the CAT mid-terms. Was hoping (and praying) that I could do the really difficult question. But unfortunately I did not have enough time to solve it! Haiz. That was the bell curve in the paper. Oh well, at least I nailed the other 2 questions for normal mortals. I think the guy next to me had some problems solving it! And on top of that he was also late for the paper! Poor thing hope he managed to scribble some stuff!

I have bad news. I am evolving into a cat lady. Not the sexy, seductive, main character of the male fantasy, more of a plain, cardigan wearing, no-nonsense twenty something. My friend came back from Europe and got me an extremely adorable cat key chain/hand phone chain who had a crystal collar around its neck. Black and white, just like Andrea! And I bought this cute cat necklace long time ago but never got down to wearing it since my dad bought me my cross necklace, definitely gain permanency around my neck.  And since I have been so ah ma-ish lately, decided to don it and I think it is so cute.

FINALLY, I am dragging myself down to see my dermatologist. I stopped my oral medication and my daily facial routine is totally messed up. I have to stop being so lazy.

The upcoming week is definitely going to be a challenging one. The modified term would be starting which means tax planning! But it is great that my modules are staggered so I have more time to focus on the difficult subjects. Glad to say CAT is down (except for the project which we have to work hard on). Of concern would be company law. So many things to study! Even my mandarin module isn’t half as vexing.

Okay enough for today back to work.

 

A nag in my mind
A peg in my heart

Slowly, surely, boldly
You’ll never know

 

Goodnight world and Mindy (sounds lesbian? hahahaha)

The un-detachable despicable side of me

Have you ever gotten a feeling that some people think you ain’t cool enough to be their friend? I think it is especially prevalent if you knew the person before that. The difference is just so obvious. Perhaps its my lack of confidence that is speaking or it is plausible that the person does think so.

Just wondering.
Is it too much to expect a person to ask you how things are when you ask them that question? Personally, Ive always thought that was part and parcel of communication. May it be friendship, family, work. One sided conversations are like information dissemination.  I would rather spend time on google. If I ask google “how is your day” I actually get an answer (usually forums where people randomly ask individuals how their day went) Thats awesome. Its funny how I get more from talking to a search engine. GEEz. Okay now I’m upset.

To sum it up. Even the nicest person on this planet has the ability to change. Christian, non-christian. STRONG (it is debatable) christian, lukewarm ones, we come with the innate ability to change our minds, attitudes and lifestyles. For better or worse, maybe its not for me to judge. Perhaps a shift to a more suitable group other than yours truly. And sometimes I wonder whether I have disappointed people the way my friend had.

As I always say to each his own. And I pray that God will continue to bless the friends who are so dear to me and even those I have yet to patch things up with. Pride can’t be eaten, but friends I can eat with. And I miss those days spent with people who I could actually communicate with.

haha. And you know what they say when you age… you get to know yourself better.

I know they say if you love somebody
You should set them free
But it sure is hard to do
It sure is hard to do
I know they say if you don’t come back again
Then it’s meant to be (so they say)
Those words don’t pull me through
Cause I’m still in love with you
I spend each day here waiting for a miracle
But it’s just you and me goin’ through the mill
climbin’ up a hill

This is the long goodbye
Somebody tell me why
Two lovers in love can’t make it
Just what kind of love keeps breaking a heart
No matter how hard I try
I always make you cry
Come on, baby, it’s over let’s face it
All that’s happening here is a long goodbye- The Long Goodbye

 

For everything I do, I hope in the Lord. BACK TO CAT!

Goodnight world. Goodbye you.

Magnificence of nondescript randomness

Goodness. I am so terribly bored from studying CAT. But I really have to score for the upcoming mid-terms. (So does everyone). Every mark is 1 percent. It is so stressful. Destiny in your hands? More like destiny in your pen. I was relieved to know that we are not required to submit our excel file. Mine would probably be a messy color palate. When I get stressed I tend to fight it with the unnecessary addition of color into my excel sheet. Still remembered my corp reporting grp mates complaining why the excel sheet so colorful. Oh the pain in my younger days…

Age has been catching up. Not really winkles, but more of clicking knees and stiff neck from sleeping in odd positions. My ankle hurts like crap. An old injury which has definitely taken a toll on my sporting ability (If I can be allowed to claim so.. haha). When I play sports, touch rugby or tennis, I can feel like I am holding back (possibly attributable to poor stamina) but you know, way less aggressive than in the past. Oh the glorious days when my age begun with the digit 1. Now it ends with 1 and starts with 2.

Anyhow.

2am and the rain is falling
Here we are at the crossroads once again
You’re telling me you’re so confused
You can’t make up your mind
Is this meant to be
You’re asking me

But only love can stay
Try again or walk away
But i believe for you and me
The sun will shine one day
So i just play my part
Pray you’ll have a change of heart
But i can make you see it through
That’s something only love can do

In your arms as the dawn is breaking
Face to face and a thousand miles apart
I’ve tried my best to make you see
There’s hope beyond the pain
If we give enough
If we learn to trust

But only love can stay
Try again or walk away
But i believe for you and me
The sun will shine one day
So i just play my part
Pray you’ll have a change of heart
But i can make you see it through
That’s something only love can do

I know if I could find the words
To touch you deep inside
You’ll give my dreams just one more chance
To let this be our last goodbye                                                     Only Love, Trademark

Such a beautiful song. Depressing and thankfully not applicable to my life therefore permitting me to derive great satisfaction whilst delving into the world of Excel. WOOHOO.

Holding on to the past of nothingness.
How I looked upon you with such fondness
But you are stepping into the future

One step, two step

How time flies.
I miss you so…

 

World of CAT

Sensitivity analysis of the human mind.

Firstly, a happy valentine’s day to everyone!!

 

Valentine’s day to me, has always been a friendship sort of day, never a sacred-for-thy lover sort of day. And its nice to see how many of my friends have found their other halves And then, there’s another group of people (which I am assumed to belong to), the grouchy bunch of 20 somethings with no one to cling onto on this commercially-special festival of love. Nah, I think we should all learn to be happy for our friends right

And I know is strange. But I woke up just wanting to wish God a Happy Valentine’s day. Took a nice run out to the beach and just sat by the beach for about (10 minutes… woke up too late so the sun was really scorching me!). It was nice! I had a valentine’s date (with my shadow.. haha I quote a friend on facebook).

 

ARGH. Highly considering getting a puppy upon graduation. Right now I am still living off my parents. But hopefully, when I start contributing to household needs, I’ll have a say! Beagle or golden retriever And part of my hopes that the stupid en-bloc does not go through.. My pup would be so happy to live near the beach… I think people at my age are praying for a boyfriend, I am just praying I can get a dog Male or female?! And he shall be called……..

Okay people always wondered why my cat was called Andrea. He was named after one of my favorite singers Andrea Bocelli. I remembered when I was about primary 5, I was so inspired by his talent. Haiz. Miss my dearest kitty…

 

Worse analogies

1. The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.
2. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.
3. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
4. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was room-temperature Canadian beef. (I’m sorry.. she sounds like a fungus… E. Coli for the win…..)

Source: http://www.losteyeball.com/index.php/2007/06/19/56-worstbest-analogies-of-high-school-students/

Okay back to CAT land. 35% up for grabs this friday… 25% mid terms 10% assignment!! Nervous to the max!

 

Goodnight world. and you

 

The complex denial

Just watched the black swan at nana poh’s place. Abstract, sad, dark and definitely perplexing. Slightly porno, but I think the film was good because despite the movie being slightly sensual, the audience would still focus on the main issue- a human’s pursuit of happiness. Intriguing.

Well, its getting late time for bed. I wanted very much to finish my CAT assignment so I could do my company law which I have fallen so way behind. SIGH. I am getting slightly worried because it seems I have to do a full revision on statistics before going for my 25% paper. So basically by this week 45% of CAT would have been covered. I ask of God not to help me do well, but the diligence and the right attitude to do my best! (Indirect causal)

Sigh. I guess nobody really watch the you tube clips I post…
‘Cause you give me something
That makes me scared, alright
This could be nothing
But I’m willing to give it a try
Please give me something
‘Cause someday I might know my heart
Know my heart, know my heart, know my heart- James Morrison, You give me something

 

The answer to that question is in a question- Why do you think we started talking in the first place? (Long time back)

But alas, you would never wonder and therefore you shall never know.

 

Mystery. (I love being mysterious, give it to me)

Goodnight world. and you.

 

No fancy hands. Just pressed for the moment.

I realized I enjoy doing short updates of late. Especially with the past few weeks being spend more by myself with some many things to do and so little time. It’s a quick release of some qi. Perhaps my short updates would tantamount to tweeting. But I guess just once a day or once every two days would suffice.

Today was such an unproductive day I dread even begin describing the events, particularly those that occurred in Unimax. SMU students should know this. Now, the aunty (aka lao pan niang) is not exactly a nasty person. She is just a tad too impatient and a bit too blunt and rude.

Things that went wrong
1) The files could not be printed after trying so many times
2) After segmenting the file (mind you, it was 308 pages.), which she told me was too big, which pissed me off but I just smiled and agreed to split it up into segments of 50 pages, there was an error.
3) The printers.. we’ll get to that part
4) The system charged me double which amounted to extra charges of $4.50 which I am glad to have realized since I am so calculative (accounting blood). That was not exactly a problem for me because I spotted it and she was quick to refund me. But perhaps other people didn’t realize?

And after spending close to an hour or more in that shop, my friend walked passed Unimax and saw me. He was eating Ritters (YUM YUM) and he walked in to give me some because he couldn’t finish. After I put a piece in my mouth she yelled across the shop (because I was at the very end) Exkuse meee Miss, here cannot eat food ahhh, we have a sign (which was like at such a secluded corner that even after 3 years of walking in and out of Unimax, my eyes would never have swiped pass that.)

Perhaps she has bad memory. Your service suck. It wasted my 1 hour. She did not even seem sorry that her 8 printing machines could not even print a 308 page companies act. And whilst doing some readings, while standing waiting for the stupid machine to print at the rate of 1page/40 sec. I realized I could have printed it at home using my monochrome laser printer.

In the end. The idiot was me. HAHA. So unimax aunty, rest assured. I would never EVER print anything there because clearly my files are too big for you to handle. Tsk.

GEEz.

 

Princes of tennis with an awesome back hand and serve.. It is such a pity your other past time is Marlboro. Young people these days…. tsk

Lock-worthy

Finally settled down to the do the Luke bible study. I must say it was pretty good! But its only the first chapter. So I’ll cover the old testament with my cell group and the new testament on my own….

Spent the large part of the day doing excel. I think I am done with one question. Have another 4. Gag. In addition I have to try to finish my bible study preparation for this sunday. Hmm. I think the last lesson I co-led wasn’t fantastic, in fact I left feeling jaded myself. OH WELL. Got to lower pride and ask for help from my parents. Bible study 101.

Nothing remarkable about today.

A song. Moonlight by Yiruma.

 

 

Wonder not, anymore
For time passes too fast
Too fast for me to grasp
Yet, wonder, I hold onto
To get me through my days….

Please don’t.

misconstrue my intentions

I realize sometimes I can be overly enthusiastic in friendships. If its a girl I think its alright. But when its a guy I think sometimes he can get the wrong idea! Mindy you are right! Nan nu shou shou bu qing, virtually speaking. Because I kept “trying” to talk to him online but the truth is I am just being friendly. I suspect he got the wrong idea luckily he is not interested in me if not.. IF NOT end of friendship!?! That is a terrible and hideous thought

No more chatting.. LOL. FOR REAL. Decline in productivity, increase in energy consumption.. tsk.

Goldman sachs. My goodness I have intelligent friends!

Upcoming mid-terms

- CAT (I got 91 for my assignment!! Jack say must get 100… teach me obi one.. if not i obiquack… )

- Chinese history

MUST LIKE LUKE (I mean the book in the bible)

Lonesome wonders and wholesome ponders

I’m sure that I will always be
A lonely number like root three

The three is all that’s good and right,
Why must my three keep out of sight
Beneath the vicious square root sign,
I wish instead I were a nine

For nine could thwart this evil trick,
with just some quick arithmetic

I know I’ll never see the sun, as 1.7321
Such is my reality, a sad irrationality

When hark! What is this I see,
Another square root of a three

As quietly co-waltzing by,
Together now we multiply
To form a number we prefer,
Rejoicing as an integer

We break free from our mortal bonds
With the wave of magic wands

Our square root signs become unglued
Your love for me has been renewed            -By David Feinburg

So cute right! Okay back to work

We are the reason.

Its 1.27am in the morning I have class at 830am. WHY AM I STILL AWAKE.

 

I hate my mind. It’s bogged down with so many things, too many things to allow me to absorb all this information. Company law… plus I am still not done with my report. WHY GOD?!? WHY AM I SO SLOW, DUMB and IDIOTIC.

 

I find myself constantly drifting in and out of low self esteem. I just can’t find something to convince myself that I am something. Its not about living up to the measures of my fellow homosapiens, but really, I want to live for the glory of God. But yet, I feel whatever I am doing is so mundane. I just ask God why?? I had better plans and ambitions and I could do more than being stuck in SG, figuring out the Companies Act. Why am I doing all these? Its not what I love. And I have not even come to that. Love. I don’t really know what it is anymore. I don’t love what I am doing. It is so difficult to glue my ass to the seat to study. Is it not right to want the things you love.

 

PS: I hate Valentine’s day. I hate anything that comes in twos. Oh well.. life of a single lady. GEE.