The past two days went by with me misplacing and losing random items like a stapler, my ez-link card and so on, but nothing could have braced me what I lost today. A dear friend. One thing I cannot stand is being lied to and re-thinking the past events have made me realized how silly I was to continually justify his or her lies that it was for my own good. Lying is wrong, it is unacceptable because it demeans your principles.
I did sense some anger, but I was weighed down largely by disappointment and hurt. In fact, I have never been in a dilemma of what to feel. I guess everything boils down to one word – greed. Greed for love, for friends, for attention. I am guilty of that, but never would I short-change a friend in pursuit of such things.
I guess I am glad I witnessed the whole thing and I can walk away with clean hands. I did my best, but it wasn’t enough. Its amazing how stupid people can behave when they are in love, like sacrificing a friendship in exchange for that. Oh the great things people do for love.
What’s done is done and there is nothing left to be said. It is one of those crystal clear moments in life I won’t ever have to second guess my decision. Its water under the bridge and I thank God for enlightening me (seriously, spotting a person from 50 metres away is almost divine intervention) and revealing the truth to me. No longer do I have to live a lie, believing the person is writing a thesis, or studying very hard, or just lazing at home.
Living by the decisions you make is easy, the hard part is living with the repercussions that follows.
Even up till now, whilst typing this post I do not dare believe that a person can be capable of such a thing. Well never judge a book by its cover. And in the wise words of the wangster, trust no one but God himself.
All in all, I have learned much from this experience. To greater times ahead, I wish you all the best in whatever you do and that God’s blessing would abound you no matter what. At the end of the day to me, its about being happy for the people I love and care for. If lying to get what you want or needed allows to derive happiness than perhaps my feelings were indeed a worthy sacrifice. And I accept my fate as such because God will be there to bandage my wounds.
I am very tempted to pass judgments on the whole thing, but I guess its messy enough not another word is needed for me. I am glad the whole thing has come to an end on my side. Its great to unshackled from a person who has deceived me time and time again.
DECEIT CAN HAPPEN, BUT MY AWESOME LIFE CONTINUES
STUDYING AFA by the pool tmr. Time to sun-tan and cast the irrelevant past aside.